When Children Question Their Faith

When my son was sixteen, he told me he didn't believe in God anymore. This was the same boy who had faithfully served as an altar server for over eight years, who knew the Mass responses by heart, who had grown up surrounded by our family's traditions. My initial reaction was disappointment mixed with confusion. Had I failed as a parent? Where had we gone wrong? But as I reflected on it, I realised that questioning faith isn't a sign of failure. It's actually a natural part of growing up. Children need to wrestle with inherited beliefs to eventually make them their own. The faith we pass down through family traditions and church attendance is just the beginning of their spiritual journey, not the end.

When our children express doubts, our first instinct might be to shut down the conversation or get defensive about our beliefs. We might feel tempted to force compliance through guilt or threats. But these approaches often backfire, creating resentment and making faith seem fragile or unreasonable. Today's world is much more open and global, exposing children to diverse perspectives and worldviews. Forcing anything on them—whether religion, political views, or ways of thinking—simply doesn't work anymore. The internet and social media have given them access to different sources of authority. When you tell older children something, they'll often immediately pull out their phones to check Google or ask ChatGPT. Parents' words are no longer automatically accepted as final truth. Instead, I've learned that honesty works better than pretence. When my kids ask if I believe in God, I don't immediately give them a confident "yes" that might sound fake or overly certain. I acknowledge that I too have moments of uncertainty, then I explain what faith means to me and encourage them to keep searching for their own answers. With my son, rather than forcing him to continue altar serving, I offered him something he was genuinely interested in: playing drums in our church choir. He accepted, and continued attending Mass with us.

The long view requires both patience and consistent effort. We make church a positive family experience by having lunch with extended family afterward, turning Sunday into something enjoyable rather than just an obligation. I often pray for meaningful sermons that will touch my children's hearts, though I admit this doesn't always happen. Throughout the week, I try to bring up God naturally when opportunities arise. If something unexpected occurs, I might mention that "God has a plan for you" or "He knows what's best." These small moments of pointing toward the divine matter as much as formal religious instruction. We can't control the outcomes of our children's spiritual journeys, but we can control how we respond to their questions and continue providing opportunities for encounter with the sacred. God loves our children even more than we do, and He isn't threatened by their doubts. He will find a way to reveal His heart to them in time, often in ways we won't even understand.